To Heal is To Forgive

forgive

To Heal is To Forgive.  Have you ever once considered that holding on to the hurt and anger that someone else caused is keeping you from moving forward?  Have you ever considered that if you just forgive them, maybe then you can live a happy life?  Are you currently unable to allow yourself to forgive yourself for something you’ve done?  I learned years ago that holding on to anger and pain towards a person was only hurting me more than it really was hurting them.  I grew up never knowing who my biological father was.  I suffered for years.  I was angry that he didn’t care enough to be in my life.  I was angry that he didn’t change for me.  I was even more angry for the hurt he caused my mom.  I held onto this anger for years and vowed to never forgive him and if I saw him I would let him have it.  Right before my 30th birthday I met him after decades of never knowing who he was except on paper.  I had learned to love and most importantly, to forgive.   The first words that came out of my mouth were, “I forgive you”.  When I said those 3 little words, I felt a sense of relief…a sense of peace.  I finally felt whole…complete.  I also learned to forgive myself.  Forgiving myself for past mistakes…for decisions I had made…was never something I thought I had to do.  I couldn’t figure out why I just couldn’t move forward.  I had this dark cloud hovering over me until I learned to forgive myself and not be so hard on myself about things.  I am not perfect yet I was being hard on myself.  I see and hear people all the time talk about things they did in the past and how they are who they are because of that…How they will never change…How these are the cards they were dealt… How life is just so unfair.  Don’t hold onto who you were and what you did.  Let go and forgive yourself.  Forgive those that have caused you pain.  You won’t be able to move forward in your life and really LIVE until you forgive others and most importantly yourself.  God is so merciful and gives us chance after chance when we make mistakes.  So why is it so hard for us to forgive?  Shouldn’t we be as merciful as God?  Believe me when I tell you this…I know first hand how forgiving someone that has caused us great pain and forgiving ourselves for past mistakes is like lifting a boulder off your back.  It’s a feeling so great and once you do, it’s like the sun shines again showing you a brighter more beautiful day.  Don’t spend one more day using all your energy holding on to that anger and pain.  Start over and let go.  You won’t be able to change anyone else…they may never say they are sorry or admit their wrong,  but you can change how you are and how you feel.  God loves you and no matter what you have done, He will always forgive you.

XOXO…Ileen

Psst…God Loves You

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”  Ephesians 4:forgiven_2013_09_18-21132

isaiah11

 

 

 

 

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